Today’s feast of the Holy Family makes me think about my 92-year-old dad who just sold his house. He lived in only three houses during his life: the house he grew up in (25 years), the first house he bought with my mom (5 years), and this house (62 years). Since my mother died in 2020, he’s been lonely. He moved to a place with people around, but he’s still lonely. Neither my brother nor I live near him. I would love for him to move out here to be near me and my son, but he’s not too excited about leaving New York.
I think about what it means for me to honor my father. I call him almost every day, but is that really honoring him? I listen to his stories and try to cheer him up, but I don’t know if that qualifies as “honoring” him. I rationalize that I am doing the best I can. After all, I live in California, I have a pretty demanding job, and I do visit New York at least once or twice a year. However, I’m not sure my best is good enough or that my best is actually honoring him. Sometimes, I’m a little embarrassed that, while I’m pretty decent at holding my own life together, I am not doing enough for him.
We can’t get very far along the narrow path of wisdom without giving up our prideful tendency to do things “own way.” Pride is the toughest of sinful habits to break. That is why religious brothers and sisters take vows of obedience, poverty, and chastity. Poverty is the antidote to greed and chastity is the antidote to lust. Obedience is the perfect antidote to pride. Sirach encourages us to embrace the way of obedience, the way of humility, so that we may obtain wisdom not by seeking our own path of self-realization, but by humbly submitting ourselves to our fathers and mothers.
If we fail to honor our parents, we risk the breakdown of the family. We also risk the breakdown of our relationship with our Lord. The humble, obedient approach that we take with our parents is exactly the way we should be oriented toward our Lord. If we honor our parents, we are in a great place to honor God.
Fr. Mike
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